Should I stop blogging, is this too sad for you? Are you judging me? Did this really happen? How can you still be after living through it?
Can we still be a family? Please? Don’t die. I don’t know what I would be without you. Is this too much?
If I tell you what has been going on for me, for us, will you pity us? Treat us differently?
Will you employ me? Will you talk to me in the hall, in the office, in the cafeteria? In my person, my happy face, my darkest place…
Round and round and round and round…
But I blog. Because IT will not win. I will be me. Shame and all. Tears and all. Hate and all.
And even though IT thinks it is all my fault, that I am talking too loud, that you might shy from me, that I might be alone. That we might be alone.
And then what?