Go and have a rest first.
But I’ve made a coffee.
Well that’s just going to keep you awake.
I went in to check on Master X. It scared me for a brief moment. His position. Why does he insist on rolling over and digging his face into the bed.
The asphyxiation position. Heart stop. Scary stuff.
I creep closer and hold my breath to watch, for his breath. Yes. I will take a photo. So he knows how scary he
can be is.
Mum turned him on his back.
I do not want to go for a swim. It is too hard really. It is much easier to just sit here. Thinking. Eating. Exploding. Becoming agitated.
Hang on. You’ve already gained over twenty kilograms. And three since beginning Risperidone a week ago.
Fat shame. Food guilt.
Oh, Master X. is awake.
If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide please contact Lifeline immediately 13 11 14