asphyxiation sleep

Go and have a rest first.

But I’ve made a coffee.

Well that’s just going to keep you awake.

It’s decafe!

I went in to check on Master X. It scared me for a brief moment. His position. Why does he insist on rolling over and digging his face into the bed.

The asphyxiation position. Heart stop. Scary stuff.

IMG_1115

I creep closer and hold my breath to watch, for his breath. Yes. I will take a photo. So he knows how scary he can be  is.

Mum turned him on his back.

I do not want to go for a swim. It is too hard really. It is much easier to just sit here. Thinking. Eating. Exploding. Becoming agitated.

Hang on. You’ve already gained over twenty kilograms. And three since beginning Risperidone a week ago.

Fat shame. Food guilt.

Oh, Master X. is awake.

If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide please contact Lifeline immediately 13 11 14


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