Camping. Life is good.

Mr. A and I laughed today as we recalled a pretty painful time in my illness, which was when we admitted to a special residential program for sleep and settling assistance. I am writing about this in more detail in my book (when/if I ever get to it). Today I am focusing on the positive. We were in our bed in the caravan and Master X was in his specially modified cot. Mr. A was laughing at a comment in the program where a midwife said that she was concerned that at three months, that Master X was not reaching nor grabbing. We were watching our son play independently in his cot, reaching in particular for the cot bars (oh no!!) and his toys on the activity centre. Master X was born at thirty-seven weeks which, in Australia, is the borderline for a pregnancy to be considered full-term. I now know that it means (according to the wonderful but highly contentious Wonder Weeks research) that he could be at least three weeks behind in developmental milestones as they are often based on gestation dates, rather than birth dates.

Anyway, it is evident that Master X is quite capable of reaching and grabbing. I am not sure of the date that this began as I only realised it when my family pointed it out some time ago. I have since stopped seeking developmental milestone information as I have found that it increased my anxiety on what Master X ‘should’ be able to achieve at ‘which particular time’. Every child is different and are going to develop at their own rates. I think there is much to be said for a more laid-back approach to this matter.

I am more interested now in engaging Master X in a variety of environments, with diverse people and allowing him space to understand his world in different and new ways. This is the premise of my addiction to camping. I thought I would post a couple of pictures of how we set the caravan up for sleeping him as I found it impossible to locate pictures when we were setting up. He sleeps well in the cot set-up, but we do at times need to hang a towel on the outside window during day naps to block out the sun.

Our bed and baby change area
Master X’s cot in the caravan
Master X’s cot in the caravan
My medicine board because I am feeling good and keep forgetting to take them!!!

I am finding that camping is a non-confrontational way for us to involve Master X in his larger world. It has brought our family (!!) closer in that we need to work as a team in order to relax. Being outdoors helps me to unwind and understand my anxiety responses in a more considered manner. I feel like this morning- even though I am bleary eyes- that I am writing through the clearest lens that I have had for months. And I am enjoying the cool breeze through my clothes, the sun’s gentle kiss on my face and the delightful sound of Master X chattering to Mr. A as he is being fed and changed. And life is good.

If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide please contact Lifeline immediately 13 11 14

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