I feel like a different person today. I realise how much I love being Master X’s mum and that I don’t write about this enough. I really appreciated today just how social he is. Although my husband and I both are confused about his extrovert personality, I have to say that it does make it easier to break the ice with people who we haven’t seen for a while. The sweet little man is tuckered out from all the cuddles, cheek tickling and laughs and smiles. It was a beautiful morning, and now it is a peaceful afternoon as he is sleeping soundly in his cot.
I had a friend email me recently about an alternate analogy for babies and their parents:
The baby chooses their parents before they are conceived
This has been playing on my mind today as I recall four times that I was present, or focussed as all of the occasions centre around the fact that we chose our beautiful son, and how grateful and lucky we were to have a baby with such resilience and outgoing personality.
Master X had only two very short naps in the morning- one in the car on the way to the doctors from a friends house, and in the stroller at the doctors. Both times I did not even realise that he had fallen asleep! I marvel at the way that he looks when he is in slumber- I mean who doesn’t like to watch a sleeping baby?! I enjoyed focussing on the gentle opening of his mouth as he snores and the slumping of his cheeks against his chest. Master X also has this laugh that he lets out when he about to fall asleep. I did not notice it this morning, but this afternoon it was very evident. It is a cross between a chortle and a giggle. His laugh made me smile.
Master X has not met many of our friends due to illness, but today surely made up for some lost time. It was pleasurable to watch him enjoy being around adults who were not his parents, and to see him fit in so well with their company. It was also a relief for me as it was a situation where I would normally have left with self-doubt, a cycle of thoughts running around and analysing every sentence, every interaction. But not today. I have not thought about anything other than the joy on his and my friends’ faces to be able to catch up, chat and chuckle through the morning.
Master X also met his first cat – they were both initially uncertain of each other. Watching, waiting and warily circling each other.
Due to our outing this morning, Master X went down relatively easily for his afternoon nap. And so I sat down, popped on some TV and relaxed to eat a late lunch. Afterwards I considered writing straight away, but chose instead to colour my hair! I am enjoying a cup of tea at the moment and have had two meals thus far, making it so that I have almost completed my ‘vital activities’ from my self-care schedule.
The ability to focus is something that I do not take for granted. For much of Master X’s life I have been in a state of mental inability to do nothing much other than aiming to get through the day. Thank goodness for photos. I stopped this afternoon to breathe and appreciate the day that we had. Although it might not be very exciting, it was an achievement and my head feels like it is in a good place after achieving so much for myself and for my family. There are many things ‘to do’ but my mind is able to prioritise that self-care is number one, and that things like the housework, gardening, and preparing dinner can wait for a little while. Enjoy the serenity, R, just relax.