Getting out of the house

So no, I have not been writing or reading. I have been wallowing in this feeling. Well wallowing is not really a fair word to use, it is more like drowning? I wake up, it is there. I go to sleep and it is there. I go out and it does seem to dissipate which is why I am spending most of my waking hours out of the house. Distraction. Company.

In group this week they talked about the highs and lows of recovery and indicated that perhaps I am in a low, but assured me to not be anxious as I will not go as far down as my lowest point.

Well, it would be hard to have another psychotic episode on anti-psychotics, I would hope. I am also taking anti-depressants so I shouldn’t be depressed, and the anti-psychotics are in fact also for anxiety so I have that base covered. Although perhaps not enough? I realised that I am anxious about staying at home. As in being in the house all day. With a sooky baby. With this crappy feeling in my stomach.

Sorry that I have not been reading your blogs. Being out all day stops me from being able to be as active as I usually am online. Alas leaving the house is good, so please don’t worry. I am working through it, this new space and this new uninvited feeling. I will get there. I will just take time… and I’m told, patience.

2 thoughts on “Getting out of the house

  1. You never have to apologize for not reading blogs!!! (You just have to be forgiving when I take a long time to read & reply! 😉 (like now.)

    I wrote something here last night, but then the kids started fighting (ugh) and I lost the comment after being distracted.

    Anyway, leaving the house *is* good. I feel like it always helps me, but it can be/seem impossible to do sometimes when my anxiety is bad or if I’m totally exhausted. Having the school schedule in which I have to take my girls to school and pick them up works for me as it forces me out for a short while. The bus isn’t an option as the drop off/pick up point is super-dangerous on the highway, plus they charge a lot!

    Sorry this is so blahhhhhh – I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet. The horror!!!!

    Most of all, I’m really proud of you for going to your group!!!!
    take care, dear BecomeMum,


    1. Thanks Dy, I am trying to get out of the house as early as possible but don’t have the school drop off- I have a cup of caffeine at about ten and it is my aim to get out of the house by that stage and have that cuppa out and about. I am not sure what to do when the little guy is unwell, I feel stuck. The doctor assured me going to the mall is a good choice as people there are taking a risk of illness anyhow. Thanks for getting back to me and giving some perspective xx

      Liked by 1 person

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