Getting out of the house

So no, I have not been writing or reading. I have been wallowing in this feeling. Well wallowing is not really a fair word to use, it is more like drowning? I wake up, it is there. I go to sleep and it is there. I go out and it does seem to dissipate which is why I am spending most of my waking hours out of the house. Distraction. Company.

In group this week they talked about the highs and lows of recovery and indicated that perhaps I am in a low, but assured me to not be anxious as I will not go as far down as my lowest point.

Well, it would be hard to have another psychotic episode on anti-psychotics, I would hope. I am also taking anti-depressants so I shouldn’t be depressed, and the anti-psychotics are in fact also for anxiety so I have that base covered. Although perhaps not enough? I realised that I am anxious about staying at home. As in being in the house all day. With a sooky baby. With this crappy feeling in my stomach.

Sorry that I have not been reading your blogs. Being out all day stops me from being able to be as active as I usually am online. Alas leaving the house is good, so please don’t worry. I am working through it, this new space and this new uninvited feeling. I will get there. I will just take time… and I’m told, patience.


2 thoughts on “Getting out of the house

  1. You never have to apologize for not reading blogs!!! (You just have to be forgiving when I take a long time to read & reply! 😉 (like now.)

    I wrote something here last night, but then the kids started fighting (ugh) and I lost the comment after being distracted.

    Anyway, leaving the house *is* good. I feel like it always helps me, but it can be/seem impossible to do sometimes when my anxiety is bad or if I’m totally exhausted. Having the school schedule in which I have to take my girls to school and pick them up works for me as it forces me out for a short while. The bus isn’t an option as the drop off/pick up point is super-dangerous on the highway, plus they charge a lot!

    Sorry this is so blahhhhhh – I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet. The horror!!!!

    Most of all, I’m really proud of you for going to your group!!!!
    take care, dear BecomeMum,
    Xo

    Like

    1. Thanks Dy, I am trying to get out of the house as early as possible but don’t have the school drop off- I have a cup of caffeine at about ten and it is my aim to get out of the house by that stage and have that cuppa out and about. I am not sure what to do when the little guy is unwell, I feel stuck. The doctor assured me going to the mall is a good choice as people there are taking a risk of illness anyhow. Thanks for getting back to me and giving some perspective xx

      Liked by 1 person

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