Playing in the dirt, seeing life as clean rather than dirty. The space gave me room to think differently, adjust to brightness. Live. 
 Master X amused himself which was a change from the ongoing wingeing and screaming. He still needed consistent carrying in the Ergo, but it didn’t seem as much of a chore doing it outside.  Mr A really stepped up and joyously took Master for walks so that I could have a break.   

The nights were hard. After a bath to try and get some cleanliness,  it took over an hour each night to get Master X to sleep. We thought it was cold so piled on the blankets but it didn’t help. The first night Master X came to sleep with us at about 1am and by 11pm the second night we were all cuddled together. I think part of it was unfamiliar bed despite using his bedding from home.

 Sunday was hard. I crumbled into an exhausted and desperate teary mess. I flung myself into Mr A’s arms. I felt done. Why was this so hard? Why are we so stretched? 

So we had a party. 

We ate party pies, lollies, ice creams, hot cross buns and fizzy drinks. Although the food was not the most healthy for mind and mood repair, it was comforting. And that’s all that mattered. 

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