Dancing with darkness.

It is all I can do to sit here tonight
It is all I can do to not run and fly
The week has been so bad and a fright
That this glass of wine is saying more than just why

It started out well, this week I meant to say
With all giggles and wiggles and blue skies above
But the anxiety crashed in over my head when it lay
On the pillow at night next to my beloved

I am a terrible poet, so I am going to stop here. Alas it should have told where I am at on this cold Friday evening. As I explained to Mr. A, all I want to do is eat fish ‘n chips and then curl up in bed with my book (teen fiction – Allegiant). It is not that anything in particular has occurred, but more that I am finding this process of starting again in a new workplace to be rather confronting. I am finding it difficult to control my anxiety and in fact, it looks to be taking over my nights.

Oh how I miss those nights when all I was anxious about was how many times Master X would wake up.

I have been for a walk today and feel slightly better, although I managed to miss an appointment for specialist for Master X due to my cloudy head, and ended up bursting into tears to Mr. A when I realised that I was parked at the wrong medical centre some 20 minutes away from the intended appointment.

Oh my.

But I made it through the week, the first week, the hardest week, the longest week and I can enjoy my wine and television because, well, my brain is flooded with anxiety and I just need to learn to accept it. Cause I did everything I could to change it, but sometimes you just need to dance with the darkness.


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