The nicest part of the day is also the one that I most dread and that is sleep.
Our routine is pretty set now with Master X and I having a bath when we get home from work at about five-thirty and then dinner at six. A bit of digesting (and poo time for someone in the house) and it is time for bed at about seven. This is the time I start to dread. It takes FOREVER to get this kid to sleep. We lay on his single-bed mattress on the floor and read a few stories. Eventually he begins to rub his eyes and I know that it is time for sleep so I start to sing and then turn off the light once he is fairly settled.
Now the fun begins.
Tossing, turning, groaning, knocking on the wall (yes, knocking has been a fantastic skill for him to have so he can let us know when he thinks we have been in the bathroom or bedroom too long) followed by some deep sighing and more eye rubs. It is apparent little man, that you are tired, so please shut your (f%^$inG) eyes and go to sleep. Cuddles. No cuddles. Cuddles again.It takes about FORTY MINUTES EVERY NIGHT (please tell me this is normal) before he is asleep.
Well tonight, I thought he was asleep and I was truly busting for the loo so made a fast but relatively quiet escape (who put that musical truck right next to the door for goodness sake!?!?) only to hear him wail as soon as I reach the toilet. Damn.
Um hun, can you please go and tend to our lovely son. He keeps saying ‘mum’ and I’m pretty sure that’s you darling…
What a man. Seriously. Mr A has pulled a back muscle and does not miss a beat and he is up off the couch and into that little guy’s room. He is actually up and getting me a glass of party water (soda water, water with bubbles) because I thought I was going to sleep with Mr 18 months so took my Olanzapine but am now still awake and terribly parched from the side effects. I am heading off to bed soon.
Again, this is another part of the day that I love to hate.
I am still somewhat in an excited mood and loving my blogging. Especially due to the positive engagement from readers. So I find that the thought of having to go to bed is frustrating as all I want to do is ‘express my creativity’. I have bee non a writing streak and I am not sure how long it will last. Part of it is feeling obligated (that was an epic fart with my butt facing my husband) and a larger part is not wanting the lull to start which it inevitably will if I stop blogging every chance that I get some thought to write about. I am able to switch off relatively easy now when it is time for bed which I believe is a sign that the medications are doing their job in stopping the mania, however getting the point of deciding to go to bed is the issue. The online world is just so exciting and I am getting so much from the bloggers who are also writing regularly that it feels like we are all just having one drawn out related conversation.
Does anyone else feel this way about the end of the day? How do you manage the becoming a mum competing desire to have some quality adult ‘me’ time with the necessary processes like sleep?