I am really glad that I have this blog. I am feeling overwhelmed tonight, down, confused and drawing blanks when it comes to writing. I have been here for an hour trying to find something to write. I mean, I have a schedule for writing, but my mood was taking me somewhere else and rather than listen to it I pulled myself back to my schedule and tried to focus on that. I guess it hasn’t helped that the people who are watching Master X tonight while Mr A is at Japanese class, and to allow me to write, I overheard negative comments on how dirty my bath is and they didn’t want to bath Mr 18 months in it. We are having our bathroom redone from next week because it does look a little like the set of a bad horror movie and we stopped trying to scrub it when it was apparent the sellers had painted over the mould and scratches in the bath tub. We wipe it over, but we don’t scrub it because of the pregnancy… why am I feeling the need to justify myself to these negative comments? We look after our house and our kids. I guess the comment just took me aback.
So that put a dampener on my mood (spell check – not damper) and I did not take my medications before coming into the study/bedroom to join a webinar (aka to write my blog and hide away from the world because my belly is really sore from being at the conference all week). I also think the overwhelming is that there are two blogs now so that I can outlet at either platform, dependent on my mood and the feeling in my pregnancy belly. But there is no motivation for either blog tonight after hearing that comment about the bath. Oh my goodness, it is just a bath!?!?! And I don’t even really know this person, so why do I care what they are thinking let alone their negative comments?!?!?
What an unproductive evening. I feel like banging my head agains the wall, literally. Maybe the pain will shock my brain into action. Get back into the game (I am breathing so heavy this pregnancy, I sound worse than Darth Vader). Maybe I’ll take the night off and just watch some television.
And enjoy feeling my baby move. Magical moments of becoming a mum.