I grew up in a Catholic family where sex before marriage was not even a considered element of conversation in the house, let alone what to actually do when I did decide the time was right for me to deflower (what is this word even!?!). I did not choose to lose my virginity with The One but rather with the guy who was The Right One for Now. This motto quickly became the cornerstone for all my sexual endeavours, but that does not mean that I valued them any less than someone who was dating but saving themselves (again, what is this phrase?!?) for The One.
Due to the conflicting ideals between my upbringing and my lived reality I struggled to decide whether or not to broach the subject of sex in pregnancy. It is often a topic whispered about behind closed doors, under doonas, across cups of tea in a suburb where no-one knows you, or in a forum where you can hide under a pseudo name and personality. Online everyone is okay to talk about sex, as long as it occurs in a closed group where my friends cannot see, or on a public forum where I can create a fake identity.
Well, here is the truth. Sex in pregnancy has been the bane yet life of our relationship. When I was pregnant with Master X I was insatiable and pretty close to the analogy that is often thrown around when talking about people who enjoy sex – we were going at it like rabbits. I was totally turned on by my partner and the fact that WE WERE MAKING A PERSON. That just blew my mind and made him delectable. The best sex of my life was in fact during our labour at home. All those hormones racing through my body triggered an animalistic instinct. It is known that sex is a stimulant for active labour, and we can also attest to that.
So it goes without saying that when I found out that we were pregnant again, that I was pretty excited about the upcoming romping of the second and third trimesters. You know how they say that every pregnancy is different – well, that has been the case for us and sex while pregnant with baby number two. We have only had sex twice during the whole 20 weeks. My libido is fairly low but the main reason is that sex now triggers contractions! This element postcoitally was NOT welcome. I mean, what you want is to feel relaxed, loved, stimulated… NOT curled in the corner of a couch popping paracetamol because the cramps the sex triggered are nearing on unbearable.
Wanting to sleuth it out I did some internet searching and have come to the conclusion that the reaction is due to semen. Easily fixed – wear a condom! Not so easy in pregnancy for some of us as you know we can require lubricant during this time due to the hormone imbalances. Oh my, life is just getting super complicated! There are other ways to get it on and get off but it feels like my whole body is in repulse mode at the moment, perhaps because of the recent medication changes. In any case, I have to thank the chemist for reliably stocking my little bullet friend by Durex to get me through this period.