I have a secret. And only you can know so listen up carefully.
I am addicted to sugar. Hang on while I go and get a Zooper Dooper from the freezer – I love icy poles. I forewent my lunch break today, which I know is not a healthy practice to get into, but I really just wanted any distraction to avoid eating the sweet, sweet white stuff. The thing with pregnancy is that I cannot seem to be able to control the cravings. It’s like they just bubble there under every conversation, glance, or thought of food, enveloping me in its entire deliciousness. Sugar in tea, coffee, out of the jar on toast. Brown sugar melted on white toast – that is a-mazing!
Last pregnancy it was salty foods. I would only be able to keep in my stomach the likes of meat pies, hot chips or crisps. I recall that we were on our honeymoon in Tasmania and I was not only unable to sample the delectable award-winning wines of the island, but I also had to avoid eating anything that was not hot, plain and salty. Anything potato-based or pastry wrapped fared well.
Ooooo now I’m getting to the super sweet bit of this icy block and all I feel is sadness that this will be over soon.
Mr A is appalled at my lack of self-control when it comes to food, especially sweets. It truly is frightening the amount of sugar that I need to get me through the day, especially considering that I had not even had a sip of sweetness for years prior to this pregnancy. Okay that might be a slight exaggeration, but it was rare that I would consume a soft drink or cake. Sweet is just not my thing normally. Yet, here I am sitting on the couch munching on sugar and wallowing in my self-pity for the lack of self-control I have exhibited.
Icy pole done 😦
This morning I treated myself to a coffee and Danish while I waited for my meeting to begin. It was a new café for me and it was hidden in the corner of a public servant precinct in Deakin, which is a suburb of Canberra. I was surprised how delightful the café was as it was surrounded by funky vines and table settings that welcomed you to dine or wine in the ambient atmosphere. I just started thinking about food again. See it hasn’t even been near to ten minutes. Maybe if I keep writing the craving for softened buttered and melted honey on hot, crunchy toast will subside. I do not even have any white bread to toast so I am not sure where this is going to lead me. I almost ate a whole 300 gram bag of grapes on my own last night and today at lunch time. Those little things are like pops of happiness; guilt-free candy for the adult in me that is calling out desperately for a cease-fire from this onslaught of sugar.
So I am back at ground zero, the pits of my tummy are stooped in sweetness, hoping that by getting this out there and making it public will remove some the power that it holds over me. But the reality of this secret is that it is not something that I can easily amend. How do you control cravings? How do you manage the competing requirements of being healthy but caving to what the brain wants and stomach years for? Is this the beginning of us giving into what our children desire?