Thoughts, just thoughts

It is amazing when I feel you move. I feel like I know when you are going to be active, either after food, in the bath with your brother, when dad massages my sore hips. I find myself dreaming about you more and more, and I am not filled with fear anymore, but rather excitement at what your life is going to mean for our lives. Chaos, love, excitement, travel, adventures.

At work during my breaks as I lay on the ground and stretch out my spine I picture our first meeting and it really chokes me up. The moment of first skin-to-skin, feeling you in my arms and stroking your tiny features. You are so precious that even my words cannot di this justice. The thought of you makes my heart soar and tears well up in my eyes. My heart skips a beat.

And Master X we are struggling through sleep but I am noticing more and more as we get closer to our new family addition, the wonder of you, your personality, cheeky smile and joyous giggle. Dad and I love to play guess the word with you, although I think it causes you much frustration at not getting across what you need to say!

So these are the thoughts at the moment. In between the tiredness and soreness which I have written copious amounts about; among the many appointments with the midwife, GP, psychologist and psychiatrist, this is what the moments are all about. And I am fine with not writing all the time about the woes of it all, and instead washing myself in the exhaustion of sleep training through love, exploring my developing body and just being.


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